it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
