Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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