Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
