I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
