Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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