We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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