and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
