are you still at the devil's house?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Plan B is the new Plan A
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
