My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
