Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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