my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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