i can't believe i had my finger in that
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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