Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
