worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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