M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
