her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
