I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
