Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You smell like stripper and shame
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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