My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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