walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
