Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
