yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
