Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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