shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
