my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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