Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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