I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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