One girl and one boy is just not enough.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
