i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it glows. i had to have it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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