I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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