You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
pray to the hookup gods
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
