I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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