I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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