Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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