I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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