Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
