how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
