Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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