i don't like sucking hair
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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