You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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