Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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