That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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