so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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