Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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