i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
