My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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