the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
As shirtless as possible
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
