i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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