i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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