a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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