Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
