Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
