just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
