Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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