I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
