I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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