i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
